I know today is a tough day for some of us, but not all of us. In fact, some of you just coming to Mass and thinking it’s just another Sunday might not even know what I’m talking about. But for those of us still grieving the loss of someone (especially if it’s been a recent death) you were probably already aware that today is the feast of All Souls. It’s one of those days that only falls on a Sunday once every seven years or so, and so usually when celebrated during the week, we will get a few extra people for the daily Mass.
But this year, since it’s a Sunday, our assembly is a little more mixed, an assortment of people with an assortment of things going on in our lives. . . And truthfully, that’s exactly how it should be, because the feast of All Souls is not just about one thing. It’s about many things.
Yes, on the surface, All Souls may appear to be a really sad day, a depressing day, a day to shed a few or a lot of tears. After all, the loss of people we loved in this life is a difficult and painful thing. It hurts to lose a loved one, and not just a little, but a lot. It can make us feel empty, or broken, or incomplete. And we don’t just grieve for the loss of a person. It’s more than that. We also grieve because we know that things can’t go back to the way they used to be. We simply cannot undo what has happened. We can’t just wake up from the bad dream we are having, no matter how much we wished that was so. And that’s a really hard thing to face.
But the feast of All Souls is not just about being sad. It’s also about being grateful. Truly grateful. Deeply grateful. Grateful for the men and women we remember who made a real difference in our lives, made our lives better, made our lives more complete. We are grateful for the people who loved us, and who we tried our best to love in return.
We’re grateful for the care and comfort they showed us. The compassion. The mercy. We’re grateful for the fun times and the ordinary times. The challenges and tough times faced together. The friendship and companionship. Put simply, we are grateful for the GIFT they were to us.
And, All Souls is also about being connected. . . Our faith teaches us that the bonds we make in this life, the relationships, these do not end with death, they continue. They remain meaningful. They endure. And so we continue to love those who have gone before us by praying for them, praying that God will take care of them, embrace them, forgive them, and welcome them home for all eternity. And, just as importantly, we ask them to pray for us, to help us on our journey of life. We loved one another in this life. And continue to love one another because their life is changed, not ended.
And of course today is also about being hopeful, a day to trust that what we say we believe is actually how it is. We’re hopeful because our loved ones are in the most incredible place they could be, with the God who made them, with the God who sustained them and guided them through life, who forgive them and nourished them with the Eucharist, that is they are with the God who loves them even more than we do. Imagine that. It doesn’t seem like that can be possible, but it is. God’s love for our loved ones is actually stronger than ours, even though we loved them very much.
And so we are hopeful because we believe that where they have gone, we hope to follow. And while most of us don’t want that day to come sooner than it needs to, we do get some comfort in knowing that our separation from our loved ones is only temporary. The Lord Jesus died to make it so. And nothing can undo that, nothing can reverse that, nothing can change that. The victory has already been won for our loved ones and for all of us.
Of course, believing in all the good things this day represents does NOT take the pain away, does NOT magically make everything better. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Grieving is a process that actually takes a long time, a continual replacing of the sorrow we feel with the joy and peace that only God can give. And so we pray for that day, pray for a little bit of the ability to accept, a little bit of comfort, a little bit of happiness in knowing our loved ones are happier than they have ever been. And if you are one of those who aren’t currently mourning someone dear to you, today is a reminder to reach out to those that are, to be that companion that shoulder to cry on, the attentive ear, that compassionate presence who is not afraid to speak the name of the deceased and ask for a story or a memory of them. And while no one can ever replace anyone in the life of anyone else, we certainly can make one another realize that we don’t have to go through painful times in life alone. We’re in this together, that’s the importance of having a faith community. And that’s a good description of what we are celebrating today, we are all in this together, the living and those whose lives have changed, not ended, in death.
So let’s continue to reach out in love and compassion, sympathy and warmth, to those in our families and workplaces and neighborhoods, and even those sitting next to us, who have lost a loved one. It might just make a painful time a little less so. . .